I am beginning to better appreciate the difference between loving someone and being able to live with the person you love. Clearly, a love between a parent and his/her child is clearly the most unconditional form of love that you’ll likely ever achieve. And yet, loving someone doesn’t mean you can live well with him or her together. When did relationships between people who so clearly love each other become so trying that you start to think it is better for everyone if you stayed apart?
Perhaps it’s precisely because that love is unconditional that we are in this stage. You didn’t choose your parents. Just as they didn’t get to choose the personality of the child they brought into this world. They may have had some degree of an advantage over you because they at least have had the chance to try and mold you into a personality that they believe in. You could hardly do the same to your parents. Although admittedly, influences can go both ways sometimes. Regardless of who your parents are, whether their personalities match with yours, whether you like what they do and who they are, you still love them.
Yet that may not always mean that you can or you should be able to lead a live together with them. The obligation is there, so is the duty – and I don’t mean it in the sense of something bothersome or an unwilling burden – to take care of them, to be there for them, to support them. Because we are a family. And yet, personalities may clash.
Which is why, when you can choose – like in the cases of your life partners – make full use of that opportunity. Choose. Wisely. Without guilt or embarrassment. Don’t settle.
Choose not just for the one you LOVE. But choose, for much more than that. Choose for the person with the personality, the goal, the direction in life that will compliment yours. Choose the person you can trust, the one person you can talk to endlessly, and the one person who understands you like no other. Then, Love the person you chose.
Love is always a decision. So decide wisely, because it’s your life’s partner that you are talking about. And as to your parents, just LOVE. Unconditionally. And remind yourself ever so often of that no matter how bad things become. Because they’d do the same for you.